Jerry Springer Show and the Baum's family
by Filmweb Polish Resistance
Summary: Connor a.k.a Baum family was invited to Jerry Springer Show. This is my first FF in English, so please don't be cruel. If you like it - leave a review. Thanks!


Author: M_GmbH

Tonight's episode - I have a secret.

Jerry Springer: Hello everybody. Please welcome our guests tonight - Sarah, John and Cameron, Baum family.

Audience: ( Applause ).

JS: Cameron do you have something to say??

Cameron: I love you John, I always did.

( John is trying to imitate surprised )

John: What!?!

Sarah: You bitch!!!

JS: What did you say ?? Cameron. You actually LOVE John ??

C: I ran a test. Everything's perfect. I'm telling the truth. She doesn't know, she doesn't.

( Cams hand starts to twitch )

( Cam wants to say something but John reacts first )

J: Well it's not the way you think mom. It's just brother-sister love.

( Sarah sees Cams hand )

S: You are lying!

( Sarah stands up, Cam does the same. Sarah runs to Cameron and wants to fight )

S: I'm gonna damage your preety face girl!

Audience: Steve! Steve!! Steve!!! Steve!!!! Steve!!!!!

( Steve runs on stage, catches and holds Sarah, John is holding Cameron )

Steve: Calm down. Behave or I will drag you behind the scene.

J: Mom stop it! It's ridiculous!!!

S: Move back emo-boy! It's between me and that metal bitch!

JS: Wait, wait! What does it mean?? Cameron are you made of metal !?!

C: I... fell, really hard. I have a metal plate in my head.

( John is whispering to Sarah )

JC: Mom she is supposed to protect us.

S: Yeah, right! And in the meantime, when she is not on a mission, she is trying to seduce my sonny. Come to me and give me a hug!

( While John and Sarah are holding each other )

JS: Isn't that a beautiful scene?

Audience: Awwwwwww!

JS: Ok everybody please sit down. Please. Thank you.

J: Mom I'm not...you know. Don't treat me like a child.

S: Impossible. Johnny, no one knows you better than me.

J: Mom, really...

S: Oh my God! John Conn..., yy I mean Baum! Don't lie to me. What you've been doing yesterday when I was looking for the Turk??

J: We........nothing.

S: Cameron!?!

( Cameron looked at John, he shaked his head negatively, very gently so no one could see that )

S: Cameron answer me!

C: ...

S: Cameron!!!

C: We were frying pancakes.

( Cam winked to John but Sarah saw that )

S: Cameron Baum! Did John order you to strip in front of him??

C: Affirmative. He was making pictures. But he said it's for the family album.

S: You little nasty perv!

J: I was just curious of her serial number.

C: My serial number is F5U9C6K-T8H7E-S1K7Y3N8E6T.

J: Oh My God... ( facepalm )

C: Yesterday at 11:37pm we...

J: Shut up!!! I ordered you to delete it from your memo..., I mean forget about it!

C: Blanked as ordered.

S: I've had enough! You both are going for a therapy to dr Boyd Sherman!

JS: Stop! Stop! Please. Wait a minute! Sarah, yesterday you were looking for some Thai??

S: Turk!!!

JS: Ahh, yes sorry. The Turk. What do you need this Turk for?? Can't afford to pay a normal house cleaning company ?? Refugees are cheaper or what??

( Cameron looked at Jerry Springer * Her HUD showed - Identification: Jerry Springer, Mission: Terminate * )

( Sarah became seriously irritated )

S: No, in fact I was looking for a computer called The Turk, in 2011 it will become SKYNET, a self aware supercomputer and will start Nuclear Apocalypse on Earth.

Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

( Jerry Springer wiping away tears )

JS: That was a good one Sarah, haha.

( *Sarah's thoughts - OMG. WTF. Laugh while you can, assholes.* )

(* Cameron's HUD - Termination Override *)

( Someone from the audience )

??:I have a question!

JS: Wait, OK I'm going to you.

JS: Hello, what's your name??

??: Linda.

JS: OK Linda, nice to meet you. To whom you have a question ??

Linda: Sarah.

JS: We are listening.

Linda: Sarah, are you real else or are you just trying to convince us that you are Sarah Connor from Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Don't lie to me cause I know something about Terminator saga, though.

S: You gotta be kidding me!

( Sarah felt tired )

S: I think I need a therapy too and a lot of sleep...

JS: Ohh, another question.

JS: What's your name??

??: Edward.

JS: I think I recognize you. You grew up a bit, boy.

E: Whatever. My question goes to Cameron.

JS: The mic is yours.

E: Cameron, do you have feelings ?? Do you think John loves you ?? Uncle Bob had feelings, I think...

C: I love John and John loves me, I scanned his skin when we were lying on a bed last time we but I said something and... nothing happened. Don't know exact date when he will understand that when a termi... I mean girl says *John, it's time to go* she thinks *Go for IT!*

( John's face - gasp in amazement )

J: Now I understand...sheesh...

C: Affirmative.

C: John, you seem excited. Do you want a sedative?

JS: We will be back right after commercials. Stay tunned for more action.


End file.
